oh my god, sweaters

you should've seen it. i totally took a dump in petsmart. i tried to make it look like a gingerbread man, it was so awesome. and then my mom just had to pick it up and i didn't even get in trouble! guy totally just walked away and started complaining about these cat towers with 'chintzy' looking scratching posts.

your dad is so dumb. way dumber than my mom. your dad's so crosseyed, he dropped a dime and picked up two nickles.

oh, and then on the ride home, i totally crawled into your dad's lap and got hair all over him. and then i licked my ball scar and licked him on the lips. your dad totally licked where my balls were.

you're so lucky that you still have balls.

i'm gonna take a dump on your dad's face.