serious inquiries only, please

this morning, sweaters was showing off his balls. guy said that mine were in a trashcan somewhere. i don't know what that means.

i'm looking for a lady. not a lady like my mom, but a lady dog. and not just any lady dog. i want a lady poodle. a lady poodle who will let me put my red rocket into her hot pocket...if you know what i mean, (i don't know what that means either. i heard it in some weird doggie porn i was watching the other day. oh, shit. don't tell my mom, she'll try to block it again! noooooo!)

uh, right. lady poodles, come on down. i'd like to make some puddles with you.

um, not like puddles on the floor because my mom gets SO mad at me when i do that. she's all like, "dag, yo! we pee outside!" and i'm like, "uh, mom. YOU pee inside. dumbass." and then i cry.

right, puddles. little bit of me, little bit of you and we've got cute baby puddles.

ladies? ladies? how 'bout it?

-big 't' ;)